New Year (Originally posted on 2023-Jan-2)

Last year was so not good. To be honest, it would be more accurate to say that last year was not good “either” since I have been saying that “last year was not so good” every year.

The root cause of my “not so good” feeling was that I spent whole the year idly every year, and I realized the fact when each year was over.

This is not that all years are the same. I was finally infected with COVID-19 last summer, so there were some changes in my life. Yet my life was still passive, and I have had a strong “same old” feeling. After all, COVID-19 did not change my life.

In addition, yesterday was the first day of the year, nevertheless I spent the day idly. I woke up in the afternoon and thought about picking up my New Year’s greeting cards from the mailbox, but I had never left my room. I thought about writing a blog but ended up not sitting down in front of my Mac all the day.

These accumulation of idly events from Day 1 will lead to another “not so good” year by the time of Day 365. I wonder if I can continue like this. I need to take some actions.

After some thoughts, I decided to buzz off my head. A buzz cut can be a refreshing enough to change of my mindset. It may seem trifling, but at least it gives me a sense of “having done something.”

It should be better than doing nothing at all.

Even if the “sense of having something done” turns out “sense of messing up something,” they are just a matter of good or bad, meaning that I have done something. It will lead to a break from the days of idleness, and will be a departure from “not so good”.

I will try to do something on my own initiative.

Admittedly this is something at low-level, but it is the first New Year’s resolution I have had in almost 30 years.

Memories of Croatia

Last year, I went to Europe for the first time after COVID-19 outbreak and quite enjoyed. In the past few years, I had to repeat short trips. However, since the trip was a relatively long duration and visited locations without much of direct flights, I had to be creative in making travel arrangements. I liked working on travel plans, so the whole process was a fun indeed.

Perhaps they have fundamentally opposite nature, what I enjoyed during the trip were the religious sites and the liquor. In Bulgaria, I stayed in a Bulgarian Orthodox Monastery. Greek Orthodox churches were worth seeing for different architectural styles from the Bulgarian. In addition, both countries have cultures of distilled spirits, and I enjoyed them. In Germany, where the last country I visited, I was able to visit an old-fashioned beer hall, even though I was in Germany for less than a day.

As a whisky lover, Scotland comes first in my mind when I think of European distilled spirits, but it has already been about 15 years since my last visit there. The industry was in recession when I had interests on whisky for the first time, but in recent years it has become very popular and the price has skyrocketed. Furthermore, Isle of Islay, a famous Scotch whisky producing island, used to be a remote island where seemed almost the farthest land on the earth. Now, the island has become a famous tourist destination, and I cannot find it as interesting as used to be.

Geographically, next to Scotland is Ireland, where is also a famous whiskey-producing country. I am not familiar with Ireland, but I know Irish whisky prices are not as high as those of Scotch. Looking at map of Ireland, I see that it has scenic coastlines and many ruins of old Celtic churches. Moreover, perhaps I have strong images of the chaotic times due to the influence of the novels I love to read, but I think that the country is full of cynical, gloomy, and alcoholic middle-aged men.

Cynical, gloomy, and alcoholic.

This would be the perfect place for me. Checking on flights, I found that if I take a red-eye flight on Japan Airlines to London Heathrow, I can get to Dublin in the next morning. On the way back, I can fly or take ferry & train to London, stay overnight, and take another red-eye flight back to Tokyo. The schedule seemed pretty good, I made a reservation for the airline ticket.

Normally, I would have completed all the arrangements as soon as possible, but things were different this time. My insomnia had been worsening in the first half of this year. Despite I had too much free time in late nights, I had not done anything for several months after I got the airline ticket. In fact, I checked few points such as distillery tours or ways to travel from Ireland to London during such late-night times. However, they did not go any further. I had wasted time without making any reservations or even making any plans at all. One of reasons might be a rental car to get around Ireland, as I did not like driving. Yet, it was almost the first time for me to do nothing on travel plans for such a long time.

Around that time, I had to take a training session at work, it said insomnia was not good for mental health. I have been lethargic at work from time to time, but I should have taken as a bad sign that I was lethargic on travel. It may be necessary to take some countermeasures against insomnia that has worsened. As a new approach to my insomnia, I decided to change the destination of my summer vacation.

I needed to go to a place where I could feel positive. Let me go to somewhere refreshing and full of dazzling sun, opposed to cynical, gloomy, and alcoholic.

If I am looking for dazzling sun in Europe, I should look for it in southern part of the continent. Since I visited the Aegean Sea last year, the Mediterranean Sea or the Adriatic Sea would be a good idea. Few years ago, I visited Dubrovnik, Croatia and took a day tour to city of Kotor in Montenegro. I remembered that I liked Kotor but did not have much time there. I should be able to expect dazzling sun of Adriatic Sea.

I checked the airline tickets again and found that All Nippon Airways offered red-eye flights for both out/in Japan. For the most efficient way to get around, I decided to go to Dubrovnik first, and then take a bus to Kotor. On the last day, I fly from Podgorica Airport in the capital of Montenegro to Vienna, and catch returning flight to Tokyo Haneda.

On the first day of summer vacation, I arrived Dubrovnik via Frankfurt. A clear sky over the Adriatic Sea was supposed to be waiting for me, but the sky was full of clouds. When I arrived Dubrovnik, it was the first time I had seriously looked at the weather forecast. It said that cloudy or rainy weather was expected throughout my stay.

I left my luggage at the short-term apartment and immediately went to Walls of Dubrovnik while there were still few blue skies. The Walls is the most famous tourist attraction in the Croatia’s the most famous tourist destination. The entrance fee was quite high, 35 euros, or equivalent more than 5,500 yen owing weak Japanese yen.

After paying the admission fee, I heard a thunderous roar from somewhere. Looking at the land side, there was still blue sky, but looking out to sea from the top of Walls of Dubrovnik, it was cloudy, and what looked like a rain pillar could be seen in the distance.

Then, a thunderstorm came. It was a heavy rain shower with strong winds. There was no place to avoid them on Walls of Dubrovnik. I just had left my suitcase at the apartment and came to the Walls without doing anything, fortunately I still had my umbrella in my backpack. I found a place with a slight shelter from the wind. I ended up standing under torrential downpour for about an hour, my umbrella was broken and I was soaking wet on the first day of arrival.

Finally, the rain stopped and I resumed sightseeing of the Walls of Dubrovnik. The first round was not much for photography, so I decided to go on second round. Apparently one admission fee only allows one round. Considering the weather forecast was not promising for the next few days, I thought I should have done two rounds on this day even though I had to pay the entrance fee again. It was highly likely that first 35 euros/5,500 yen was complete waste of money.

The initial choices were Ireland where was cynical, gloomy, and alcoholic, or, Adriatic Sea where had refreshing and full of dazzling sun. In order for me to turn over a new leaf, it seemed like an easy choice. However, this visit to Adriatic Sea might not much different from going to Ireland. In fact, it might have been worse because the expensive entrance fee was wasted.

New Year (Originally posted on 2024-Jan-01)

Shakespeare wrote “the night is long that never finds the day.” In Japanese, it is translated as “there is no night that never finds a day.” In either way, I guess he was the type of person who could think “a glass of half full of water.”

I am not so pessimistic to think that “there is no day that never finds a night,” but I am still a type of person who thinks as “a glass of half empty of water.” I guess “the sun rises and the sun sets; then it presses on to the place where it rises” in Old Testament fits into me although I am not fully sure how it is understood in biblical interpretation. I take it as similar to a Japanese phrase “life is full of uphill and downhill.”

Last year, I went to San Francisco on Thanksgiving holidays to see family and cats of my friend, Shinkoro. There were beautiful sunny days of Northern California in late autumn, and I was able to enjoy the spectacular view of Golden Gate and other sights. I also enjoyed shopping on Black Friday as well as an outlet mall.

On the 1st day of the trip, I worked at the office until the evening, then took a late-night flight out from Tokyo Haneda to San Francisco. On the day of my return, I had a full day of fun, then took another red-eye flight, arriving at Tokyo Haneda in the early morning. I returned home and immediately work a full-day there. I can say that I enjoyed these few days extremely well, leaving me with an overwhelming sense of satisfaction.

Life is full of uphill and downhill. Or, the sun rises and the sun sets – we must have a night before the sun rises again.

As the type of person who thinks “a glass of half empty of water.” I was afraid of the downhill after having an extremely enjoyable time.

In fact, December was an extremely poor month to me.

On December 1, a few days after returning home, I already had a chill. On the next day, I had a sore throat, then, I started to have a light fever at night. I might be got cold from enjoying too much considering any aftermath, a pattern that would make a kid got angry. The next day was Sunday, so I thought I would take Chinese traditional medicine, Kakkonto, and sleep the whole day to avoid I get angry by mature people around me on Monday.

Well, my life was rolling down very fast.

I spent the next day in bed, but my fever gradually began to rise, and when it reached 39.5 degrees Celsius, I decided to take an antipyretic. I had COVID-19 test kits at home, which I even tested twice, but they were negative. No influenza-like symptoms such as muscle aches were felt, but made doctor appointment on Monday.

As I thought, the influenza test conducted by my doctor was negative. In other words, it was just a common cold. I went home after receiving only antipyretic, thinking that I could have been better off with influenza that had a special medicine like Tamiflu.

I was rolling down deeper than I expected.

As a middle aged man, I thought I would not have enough energy to keep high fever for several days by a common cold, but it seems that my immune system was very active for three days. My fever rose to 39 degrees Celsius day after day, and I had to take medication to bring it down to 38 degrees Celsius. In my case, I physically feel the most severe at around 39 degrees Celsius, but it is around 38 degrees Celsius that I keep having nightmares. No matter taking antipyretic or not, I was not good.

I would have to wait until the sun would arise again.

On the fourth day, the fever was finally gone. I was rolling down to the bottom to the hill, and I supposed that there is no night that never finds a day.

However, it would be a long time after that.

Coughing continued for days. Coughing drains my stamina, interferes with sleep, and depresses my feelings. The days were like stagnation accumulating at the bottom of a hill.

After a few weeks, it improved somewhat. Is the dawn finally approaching?

Then my new iPhone was broken, and I had to kill a half day on Christmas Day visiting to Apple Store to have it repaired. Furthermore, there was no replacement staff to the person who left the office in mid-December. I had to take care jobs I had not been doing for 5 years which I then messed them up. I was still in an early morning twilight even at its best.

How could I have fallen into bottom the hill just by only enjoying San Francisco for a few days? It is life’s fate downhill can be easy while uphill is tough, but I thought all happened in December was too much. Perhaps it was the time for me to change my motto to “there is no day that never finds a might.”

Looking back entire last year, I realized that I got married in the spring and went to Greece in early October as honeymoon. Early October could be the peak of the hill. In other words, San Francisco could be a part of long downhill, just a relief period with gentle slope. This means that the bottom of the hill can be extremely deep. I may still have to roll down the hill.

It is new year, but I am still in a dark and the sun still takes presses on to the place where it rises. I will have to wait until the night finds a day.